Monday, August 29, 2011

Back Online

I've resisted writing a new entry because it's been such a long time now and it feels as though it is impossible to get back into the swing of things. Too many things have unfolded to even begin to attempt to update anyone on all of it. Feeling the need to reinvent, to start from scratch, to re-establish myself as the new me that has slowly but surely been dusting off the dirt that I've found myself choking on for the past two years.

Perhaps there is no need to rehash. Now is all that truly matters and the thoughts that come and go seem absolutely earth-shakingly powerful one moment and barely interesting the next.

Today birthed a few new thoughts that hadn't been in my consciousness quite in this way before. The first one was that I have tended to assume that I can provide healing for my clients just by holding a space for them, and that my mere presence and energy will help them shift. Suddenly, that thought reversed itself on me. What if my clients have been showing up all this time just so that I can shift while they hold that space for me. Briefly, I felt my brain go off-line, then I chuckled at the thought, and finally, I noted the truth of the statement. Yes, both and.
The second thought came as I asked myself what I was most afraid of. The answer was that I fear my life will be ordinary. That I won't have made an impact. That one is still unfolding for me.

I'll be back soon, just here to dip my toes back in the water...

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