I am doing much better. I have finally found a place to live, and I am working on getting a vehicle. I have booked myself a driving lesson on Wednesday so I can learn to be a defensive driver and STAY on the left! A co-worker of mine said he'd put a cardboard sign in my vehicle on the passanger side saying "Go sit on the other side!" Haha! (I keep walking to the driver side when I go to get into people's car...)
Thank you for all your wonderful birthday wishes and continuous support while I am adjusting to our new life without Bruce here yet. Please keep lighting candles, saying prayers, sending us all the positive energy you can muster, and WHATEVER else you can think of so that I can have him with me soon!... This is hard. In reading my last few posts I feel a little ashamed. I have been very whiny lately. While I do feel that I can use my blog to say exactly how I am doing without sugar coating it, I also recognize that relatively speaking I have no problems. And I continue to have a choice in creating my reality each moment of the day... I am starting to feel better, and I hope I can begin to convey that in my entries a bit more. But, reality also will remain that as long as Bruce is not with me my heart won't be right.
I have been incredibly blessed by wonderful people who are doing their very best to make me feel as good as I can, considering that I am heartbroken. When I first got here, I immediately met Kate from the US while running around trying to get my internet up and running. (She works at "Nerdsville" - if you can't guess, it's a computer store.) She just moved here 3.5 months ago to be with her partner and she has quickly become a good friend. We've laughed and cried and shared stories about how the change has been for us. I am so grateful for her kindness and willingness to help ease my homesickness and loneliness. Her partner, Dean, is a Maori man and a truly beautiful person. They have both welcomed me as a part of their family and they continue to think of ways to spoil me.
For my birthday, on top of being taken out to a lovely lunch by co-workers, getting gifts and cake and tons of hugs, (and having this place to live turn up!) I was also invited to join Kate and Dean and some of Dean's co-workers on a "bar crawl" from Rotorua to Tauranga and back. Dean is a manager of a hotel and he had arranged for a van and a driver for all eleven of us to go and have a great time. We had loads of fun and to top the evening, Dean proposed to Kate! So now there is an April wedding in the works! I can't wait to attend a Maori wedding.
Our group on the bar crawl. (Dean is the big guy standing on the left and Kate is the blonde in glasses.)
Last night, Kate picked me up to go to Dean's hotel for a buffet dinner with her, her daughter Lauren, and Dean. It was the best meal I have had here so far - and there was so much food that we were all bursting by the end of the evening! After dinner, Dean had arranged for us to attend the Maori concert which tells of the history of the Maori people and demonstrates their use of weaponry. The warriors demonstrating the various Haka were truly formidable! We got to participate and practice our skills with the Poi. The Poi is a pod attached to a length of braided flax fiber. When whirled about, it can be used to mimic sounds of birds flying, waves hitting the rocks, and more. The women use the Poi to help tell the stories while they sing and dance. Mainly Kate and I kept banging our Pois into each other while laughing hysterically - but never mind... We need practice!... But we decided that soaking in the hotel's natural mineral spas was a better use of our time for now. Aaaah....... I do know how to pick my friends, don't I!?
Also - as if all of this hasn't been uplifting and lovely enough, this morning I was greeted by this e-mail from my amazing husband:
"I am so proud of you in so many ways I cannot express it in words my
love. I admire your courage, your bravery and your presence of mind. I
see how you are with your friends, how your spiritual bonds unite those
around you and light up their lives. I have seen from time to time how
you handle challenging tasks with your profession and you swat at them
like a tiger swats at a fly. I have seen you face some serious personal
challenges, physical and emotional and come through a beautiful person,
unscathed by the experience. I have watched you grow and transition
into a strong and secure spiritual warrior, you are iron wrapped in
cotton, you have what it takes to source from your inner self the
strength to endure. I have the utmost faith that we will persevere and
endure this challenge and come out on top of the world. Sit on a
pillow. Chop wood and carry water. Source your strength. Be the
warrior I know you to be. Wear your cloak of Tia. My favorite quote of
the day: 'Which is more important: to attain enlightenment, or to
attain enlightenment before you attain enlightenment; to make a million
dollars or to enjoy life in your effort, little by little, even though
it is impossible to make that million; to be successful, or to find
some meaning in your effort to be successful? If you do not know the
answer, you will not even be able to practice zazen, if you do know,
you will have found the true treasure of life. And then you will have
begun.' ~ Shunryu Suzuki-roshi.
Call me if you need me, I think I will be at the computer most of the
day, doing little by little, even though I know it is impossible to
make that million today.
Love needs no words darling."
How could I not know that I am truly blessed beyond my wildest dreams?
Talking to me this morning this same lovely husband told me to go hug a tree in the nearby redwood forest, so I did. I felt instantly better. And yes my love, I did tell them hi from you. They request your presence.
Love and strength to all of you my dear friends....... You all continue to hold me up.