I have just signed for the registered envelope that contains our residency visas to New Zealand. We are now free to move.
I can't remember the last time that I was this scared.
So much of this can't be explained with logic. We are trusting something that we feel in our gut - and although I have been shown OVER and OVER again that I CAN trust my gut, it is just as scary each time. The feeling reminds me of the sensations I have when I am skydiving; I'm sitting in the airplane, waiting for the door to open, waiting for that green light. I know I know what I am doing. I trust my equipment. I know there is a chance that something could go wrong, but I have done everything in my power to control what I can. For me, skydiving is exhilarating, envigorating, beautiful, spiritual and scary all at once. I feel more alive and connected to everything - it gives me a perspective on living that I sometimes lose in my daily life on earth. And so now, seeing that green light, brand new residency visas to New Zealand in my hand, I am once again standing on the edge, anticipating that moment, the new perspective, that point of no return.
I want to share something with you that I have looked at numerous times in the last seven months as a "post card" from the Universe, telling me "it is as it should be"... Like our choice to move, this can't be explained with logic either.
Every New Year's eve at midnight, for as long as I can remember, I have eagerly followed an age-old Finnish tradition - telling one's future by casting molten tin into a container of ice cold water and interpreting the resultant shape of the metal. The image below is of the two pieces my husband and I received this past New Year's. We melted our tins approximately 30 minutes apart because I was the "tin melting coordinator" at the party and several people were lined up to cast their fortunes. My tin creation is the top one and his is the bottom piece.
It wasn't until the next morning that we pulled the pieces out to compare notes and our fortunes. When we realized what we were looking at, we both stood silently staring at each other and the tins in disbelief. We had cast almost perfect miniatures of the North and South Islands of New Zealand.
I still become speechless when I look at the two pieces - I just hope it doesn't mean he will move to the South Island while I stay on the North one (which is where my job is). *grin*
Have things like this happened to you?.....