Thursday, September 13, 2007

Sad News...


Pookie.... blissfully asleep at home in FL - she was the most serious nap-taker I have ever known...

We are in Florida, to pack up the moving truck and to say bye to our dear friends and family. Sadly, once we had landed in Tampa early yesterday evening, we got the unimaginable news from Wisconsin that one of our own furry family members has permanently left us, without us being able to say goodbye to her... With only a week left until we were going to get them all.

Apparently our youngest (and our bravest adventurer), Pookie, had gotten sick and received the very unforgiving and unmerciful diagnosis of liver cancer. Of all things, after as many vet visits as we've made recently due to a potential pending international move, it is hard to comprehend how such a thing could have gone unnoticed.... She showed no symptoms when we left her in the care of family in July, and what little she showed in the last few months was mistaken for a case of missing us until it was too late.

I feel devastated. I feel guilty. I imagine that she must have felt abandoned by us. I am beside myself for not being there to comfort her and to be there in her final moments. I try not to listen to the voice that keeps telling me what a selfish and irresponsible parent I am (it isn't working). I feel panicked about the state of our other two cats who had to share Pookie's pain in silence. My heart aches for this little creature that, I am sure, suffered greatly. And I feel horrible about putting Bruce's family through having to make the terrible decision of putting her to sleep without being able to consult with us, as we were unreachable. The doctor had said she wouldn't make it through the night, so I understand that it had to happen. I just can't believe she is gone. And I can't stop crying.

I will miss her.... what more can I say... My heart is broken.


9 comments:

Adrien said...

Tia,

My love...not what I was expecting to read this evening, trying to catch up with you. I am so sorry about Pookie and feel your heart sickness tonight. If you have any time to get together before your big move, I'm here, just email me or phone. If not, don't worry darlin' I'll catch you in Montana some day. And again, I'll never forget your kindness when my Walter was leaving me. I love you hand in there!

Danielle Blogging for Balance said...

My heart cries with you.Having recently experienced the loss of a pet, I understand the feelings of guilt and despair. And we were with Leo and we continue to feel all the same emotions that you expressed here. When our beloved CoCo (our dog) died and we buried her there was a cardinal that was up in the tree above her cross. It was just sitting there. Now, whenever a cardinal comes to visit our birdfeeder, my daughter and I always comment that it is CoCo coming to visit. We have done the same thing with Leo. When we buried Leo, there was a yellow butterfly circling. Now when we see a yellow butterfly, we talk about Leo and how he has come to say hello. It helps us to remember and it replaces the guilt and despair with hope. Perhaps it will help you and Bruce.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry about Pookie, i was not here in SRQ. I am speechless, but you know I am with you!

Aldo

Pearl said...

Sympathies on your kitty.

kenju said...

I am so sorry, Tia. I know how it feels to lose a beloved pet. Surely she knew you would have been with her if you could have.

kunzang said...

Tia
Nothing swiftly eases that loss or grief, I am so sorry for your pain. Perhaps if you dedicate every flutter of the prayerflags as you journeyed across this land in honour of Pookie and all the life and love you shared..that is a lot of love and blessings to offer on her behalf. I will keep you all in my heart and prayers.
now a bit teary-eyed myself...
love, Kunzang

Bobealia... said...

Years ago my cat died nobody at work could understand why I had to take the day off. Because I couldn't stop crying. I could give you all the other reasons; she was a member of the family, I loved her... but all I really want to say is that I understand and I send you virtual hugs. Xoxo

Bobealia... said...

PS- Pookie was truly the Cat's Me'Ass.

Carolyn Hietala said...

It's not easy to deal with loved ones abruptly taken from us.... even our furry ones. So sorry for your loss ;0(