This was the mysterious statement made by my Healing Touch therapist as I was leaving her house this evening. She hadn't discussed with me anything pertaining to this topic either prior to or after my treatment. In fact, we didn't do our usual lengthy sharing at all after the treatment due to the next person already waiting to be treated. So, with this brief statement she bid me farewell tonight.
The instant she had uttered the words, my answer was ready. A Healer. That was all that came to me - very clearly, very simply, and very definitely. I want to become a Healer.
As I was driving home and still rolling the word around in my mouth to get the taste of it, a few things struck me about it. First was the fact that this was perhaps the FIRST time in my life - ever - that I have clearly known, and felt, the answer to this particular question. And God knows, by 35 years of age, I've been asked plenty of times what it is I want to become when I grow up. And, for all of my life, the answer has really basically eluded me. (Those of you who read the post "Wanted to share..." a few days ago will understand a little bit about just how meandering the road to my current existance has been.)
The second thing that grabbed my attention was that I could acknowledge to myself that I am, in fact, on a path of gathering tools and knowledge to be of service to others. A monumental step for me, since giving credit to myself has never been a strong point of mine. Au contraire. Perhaps the first person I am healing is myself.
The third point was one that almost got me. I heard a little voice saying; "You can't beCOME a healer. A healer is something one either IS or ISN'T." And as far as I know, besides the fact that my family desparately wanted for me to become a doctor (I don't think it was for the same reasons though) I am not one. The same little voice, gaining a bit of strength, went on to say;
"Who do you think you are, aspiring to be a healer?"
I don't know. What does a healer look like?
"It might look like many things, but certainly not like you!"
Oh, I get it. I thought I put this committee on a bus and drove them of a cliff already.
OK. So I am not there yet. A bit more work to do....
Then, what DO I want to become?
I want to become a healer.
I want to be a powerful woman because I am empowered.
I want to be a contributor to the healing, not the destruction, of our planet.
I want to be at peace with myself so that others around me may be at peace.
Tall order, I know. And it will take a life time of walking the fine line between ego and selflessness to get the balance right.
I want to leave you with a quote that, to me, sums this up...
"If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time... But if you have come because your liberation is bound with mine, then let us work together." - anonymous aboriginese woman